As I was sitting here swaddled in a comfy navy blue cardigan, sipping water from a plastic bottle that I've had for longer than I'd like to admit, the realisation dawned on me that I can't start this any other way than to be that guy and say "I've never done a blog before, I don't really know what to say.". But the truth of the matter is that:

1. I haven't

and

2. I don't.

With these two things in mind, hopefully anyone who might be unfortunate enough to have to read these frantic ramblings might cut me some slack and maybe even forgive me if I go off topic or make a mistake. But then this is the internet, so maybe I should have abandoned any hopes of decency and understanding as soon as I clicked login. Who can say for sure?